Well, I have no idea what to write about today. I think I’m cruising in on a midlife crisis with my 51st birthday looming on the horizon. I’m unhappy with my weight, I’m unhappy with my home, I’m unhappy with my job, blah, blah, blah.
Have no fear, I know that the only way any of this is going to change is if I change. I think I got a little defeated when the weight loss clinic moved my appointment from June to July. I was really hoping to be started before my son’s wedding. My doctor wouldn’t help me by giving me an appetite suppressant while waiting for my appointment. So, I am eating a yogurt for breakfast, salad for lunch, normal dinner and starving to death the rest of the time. I’ve come to the conclusion that I am just supposed to starve and ache everywhere for the near future.
I did buy a new Fitbit. It is the Luxe edition. Been trying to get 10,000 steps in a day. Which, is not difficult when I work both jobs. My coworker and I are walking around the block at work twice a day. I wish I could make people understand how much it hurts to be 80lbs overweight. The ankles and feet are the worst. Luckily, I’m not having knee problems. The doctor told me that my weight gain is partially due to my medication and that I should try some new meds. All of which will take time since they will have to ween me off slowly. I figure it has taken years to get this heavy, it will take years to get it off. So, I’m feeling defeated.
Its time to do some serious decluttering and cleaning my house. The decluttering is emotional since it is time to get rid of my grandmother’s dishes and my mother’s dolls. But the bottom line is, I have never used the dishes in the 8 years she has been gone. And my mother’s dolls just sit in a box in my closet. Time to find someone who enjoys antiques and will appreciate them. Have a cabinet full of old candle holders and odd items to find new homes for. Thinking I should have a yard sale.
As for my jobs, I love them both, but I hate them too. One job I sit on my butt most of the day and the other I never sit down. It is terribly confusing for my body to decide whether we are in active mode or inactive mode. My main job is simple but with a lot of down time. It gets very boring. I take courses on the computer to occupy some time but I can only do so much Excel before I go batty. The other job is so busy. I’m nonstop the whole time. And I get very frustrated being the old person working while the younger ones wander about.
So, time to just “suck it up, buttercup” and move on. Work to lose weight and stop hurting. Clean and stop wasting time on social media. And, find a new job or adjust to the way things are. No need for a midlife crisis yet. Sorry for all the b-ing, just not feeling myself right now. Thanks for reading. New outlook to live my life to the fullest. Toodles.
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